Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Why didnt it work?


I was thinking about a very common question that clients ask me almost every day, “Why didn't it work?” Often they are trying to get rid of a pest, for example, an insect or a weed. They bought a chemical at the box store, they sprayed the culprit or they pulled it out by the roots, or they tilled the whole field and that nemesis came back with a vengeance. Maybe my client was trapping gophers in the hay field, or chasing spiders in the bathtub or digging weeds out of the front lawn. They just want these pests gone. They express to me their frustration, “I tried my best. I did everything I was supposed to and it still didn't work.” Translation, I did not see the result I wanted.

My explanation usually includes a discussion on the life cycle of the pest, the timing of the control measure, alternative methods and the need to persevere. It’s possible that something out of their control effected the treatment; rain, traffic, temperature. It could be that my client was just using the wrong product or technique. The salesperson might not have been trained effectively about the pest or the control.

I had decided to create a brochure that I could hand out to people with troubleshooting questions. If things did not go as planned, they could reference this pamphlet. I imagined other agencies or departments would want to collaborate with me on this tool.

As I rolled the title across my mind, “Why didn't it work?” I thought about life in general. How many times do we ask ourselves this same question? I've put offers on nine houses in the last 5 years. Why hasn’t it worked? Is it my life cycle, a matter of timing? Did I apply myself to the wrong websites or haven’t I persevered long enough?

What about relationships? When we are looking at weeds, it’s pretty clear the objective is to see it eradicated. In its place we’d like to see a carpet of bluegrass or a hay field of alfalfa and timothy. My guess is that everyone has a slightly different idea of what a relationship working looks like.

If a friendship didn't last forever, did it not work? Were there times of laughter and joy? Were there experiences of total freedom and acceptance? Did you honor each other and share your innermost secrets? I’d say that worked. It worked because it allowed you to get in touch with a part of you that you did not know existed. Maybe you felt a depth of emotion that had been hidden. Be glad to know that that it is in there and can be brought out again when the time is right. When you remember him do you smile, or are you stuck in the pain of his absence? If you relish the happiness you experienced, then it worked.

Is duration your measure? Many feel that as long as you maintain your legal status, the relationship is working. For some it is separate rooms and separate lives; for some it is an intimate companionship based on mutual growth and support. Each couple decides what works for them.

How do you decide when your life is working? Do you need a monetary goal? Does your mate need to act in a certain manner or behave in a prescribed role? If your friend has a differing opinion on a topic or takes an opposing point of view, is the friendship still working? Is your physical health or emotional balance a yardstick to gauge what’s working? Life is perplexing, isn’t it? We all have unique barometers based on our beliefs and perspectives.

My life is working when I am feeling peaceful and content. I feel a great sense of satisfaction when I am able to assist others on their journey. My job allows me opportunities every day to help people feel successful growing their own food, caring for their landscape and make environmentally sound decisions. I am grateful for my warm bed, nutritious foods and my loving family and friends. I’d say my life is more than working. I've had my share of weeds and pests along the way but, I have either found a way to live in harmony with them or managed to conquer their effects.

When my clients are discouraged that their efforts are not accomplishing their goals, I ask them to describe what they want to see on their land. Do you want a field of wildflowers, or a luxurious lawn or a vegetable garden? Once that is clear, we can make a plan to get there. Take a moment and ask yourself, “Is my life working for me?” If not, what will it take to get there? Is this the right timing? What tools do I need? How much effort am I willing to exert? Are there alternative methods or paths? How will I know when I get there? What is my vision? Life doesn't come with a trouble shooting pamphlet. This is not a segue into theological debate. We must find our individual path to happiness using the tools we have acquired in this life time.

My house search is symbolic of my life. A picture is etched upon my mind of what I want but, I am open to alternatives. I respect Divine timing. I realize that ultimately, of my own will, I do nothing. I hold a vision; I do my part. Life is working.








The first book is out!

Unexpected Pathways: The Journeys of Women in the Workforce - Available at: https://www.createspace.com/5194061(Link)

May 2015
Unexpected Pathways: The Journeys of Women in the Workforce presents stories about the career pathways of twenty-three multi-generational women representing diverse occupations, experiences, and backgrounds. The stories reflect the stories of many women, expressing the intimate connection between one’s career pathway and life journey. “Unexpected Pathways” shares stories of determination and perseverance - courage and resilience. “Unexpected Pathways” shares stories of greatness and fragility - survival and victory! And in the context of the career-life journey, “Unexpected Pathways” shares stories of healing and love. The stories and the five inspired lessons offered by the chapter authors, encourage hope and inspiration to women present and future.

Available via: https://www.createspace.com/5194061