Acceptance

I loved Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love. I read it several years ago but sections of it stick in the back of my mind. He asks the question, “Why can’t we accept our lover like we accept our dog?” He was referring to the fact that we don’t say to ourselves, “I love everything about that dog except that his tail is too short, I wish he had spots or he wags his tail funny.” No. We love him because of those things. It makes him quirky and unique. He loves us unconditionally and completely. If we are in a bad mood or happy; he is glad to see us.


I know how important that is to me. I’m sure it is for all of us. How many times have we felt that someone would really love us “if only”? If only you wouldn’t leave stuff around the bathroom, if only you’d get along with my family better, if only you would be more controlling or less.

We want to be accepted for all that we are. I am passionate and funny, and sometimes I’m messy when I cook. I am “chatty Kathy” in the morning but I am quiet and sleepy after 9:00 pm. I can be powerful and dynamic but sometimes I just want to be cuddled and nurtured. I am ok with all of that about me.

A perfect example of this acceptance is when my brother in law got upset with my sister not long ago for her stubbornness, but then he kissed her and said, “yes, but that’s what I love about you.” She can be a tough business owner and knows what she wants. He understands and appreciates her for her tenacity even though sometimes it is not easy.

I think we would all do better accepting our partners for all that they are, all the nuances that make them who we fell in love with. Let go of the need to be right and have them agree with your point of view. Give them a loving scratch behind the ears and let them be them.