Self

I watched a movie a couple days ago on a rainy, Sunday afternoon. The lead was played by an actress born and raised here in Kalispell, MT. The story is about a happily (?)  married woman who falls in love with another man. She tries to fight it but eventually leaves the husband to move in with the lover. What was so well portrayed is her life ended up exactly the same as it was with the first man as with the second. How poignant? Sure, there was the passion and romance of the beginning but after a period of time they were sitting on the couch watching television, reading a paper, and she was baking the same muffins in the oven. After all of the turmoil and upheaval, how far had she gotten? Was she really happier?

One of my favorite books of all time is Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God. I can read this series endlessly for some reason. The themes in the book were beautifully acted out in this movie. Relationships fail when we are focused on the other. "What is the other doing, having, saying, wanting, demanding, thinking, planning, expecting?" The message to take away is that it doesn't matter. What matters is who we are being in relationship to all of that.  The concern of each person should be on Self.

If a person does not love them self then they will feel that no one can really love them. They will feel that you are trying to manipulate them or get something from them, because they cannot accept the love being offered. No matter how you say it or how often, it will never be enough. It is not possible to feel truly loved until you fall in love with yourself. It is also not possible for you to love another totally until you know your own worth.

I think of the main character in the movie. She felt the new man would make her world complete. What was she doing to feel fulfilled? What was she doing to bring happiness into her own world? She said she wanted to be a writer but when asked why she wasn't writing, she had no answer. Her husband was following his passion and working on making his dream come to fruition. She wandered aimlessly with an empty heart. She was looking to her husband and then her lover to bring the things to her that she was not willing to do for herself. I wondered how many years would this partnership last before she became disillusioned with the latest man? Then what? Would she jump to the next man that offered her fun and excitement?

I am not saying that people should stay in relationships that are abusive or detrimental. How many times though does the grass look greener on the other side? How many times are we looking at others to bring us joy, happiness, comfort? Can we see that relationship is an opportunity to be all of these things but we must be willing to provide for ourselves first?

I have friends that just cannot accept the wonderful people that they are. They do not see their own light. They are generous, kind, sweet and gentle but they do not recognize it. They are looking at the physical structure in the mirror and finding it lacking. I say, "Look inside, look deeper." Find that loving Spirit that the rest of us see. Be content. Know yourself.

I hope there is a sequel so I can see if this lady ever finds herself and discovers true contentment with her companion.