Sunday, July 28, 2013

Damsel


The war on the hornets continues. I have killed hundreds of them, gone through seven canisters of bee spray and called in the cavalry - my landlord - to take down the nests up in the second floor eaves. The battle has raged on for 3 days now. Bald faced hornets had built a nest behind some shingles in the upper rear wall of the cabin. A portion of the siding was disassembled to get them out. Yellow jackets had built nests in the crevices of the main support logs in the sidewalls. Bee spray, ant spray, starting fluid, long handled screw drivers, hammers, caulk guns - all instruments of mass destruction employed against the enemy.

All day I have been engaging in tracking down and killing hornets that have crept around the window casings to find their way into the house. I was folding laundry when I saw the head of a hornet peek through a tiny crack. It was like a sci-fy movie to see these tiny antennae peering out as he struggled to get his plump body through the opening. With one swoosh of the fly swatter, he was decapitated but then more ventured forth. It was like Alfred Hitchock's The Birds film. I bought some silicon caulk in a tube and pushed it into the cracks around my window. When that was not enough, I used some old beeswax lip balm to fill the remaining cracks. The romance of the old cabin met its end today.


Taking on these wasps, bees and hornets has taken its toll. I am so reminded of my limitations. I am tired. I wish at these times to be the Damsel in Distress and be rescued by the Prince. The Prince comes and slays the dragon for her or at least the bees and an occasional spider in the bathroom. My soul is weary. It has been a long time since there was someone to help carry the groceries, mow the lawn, take out the trash and rid the basement of anything crawly. I can do it and am very self sufficient. I have a reputation of being strong and independent. This is my exterior coating. It has been making the best of a situation and not by choice. There is a reason why I sleep with a german shepherd, a shot gun and bear spray by my bed. I must protect and provide for myself. One cannot wallow and wait to be rescued. I would have long ago starved to death if I had refused to move forward.


It is not my desire to take a stand on the roles of men and women in relationship and yet I do think that inherently we each have certain strengths. Men are traditionally providers and protectors. I know, for me, I sleep soundly when there is a man who can keep the things that go bump in the night at bay. I could not close my eyes if I did not know that Aries watches over me and warns me if there is reason. I struggle carrying wood pellets from the basement and it is so easy for a man. Sure, I do it everyday but it is more difficult each year. As a woman, I am a nurturer and caretaker. I am a homemaker and keeper of traditions. I am a love maker and a fire keeper. I am a communicator and partnership builder. Many people may have opposing views on these roles for themselves. There is no right or wrong combination.


Acknowledging my weaknesses and vulnerabilities is not a problem. Addressing them is. None of us can manifest a partner out of thin air. I continually recognize all the things that men are more capable of handling than me. I have no issue with this. It does not make me feel less empowered or less equal. I know my value and my assets. I would gladly turn the hornets over to a Prince. I'm sure I could find some way to repay his kindness.





1 comment:

leland said...

l enjoy the friendship and companionship of a woman. l don't want to be alone when l reach my "golden" years like my Dad. He's vary lucky to have Jeanine and Les close by. l want someone to share our lives with till the day we die. l don't need to tell you that those bags of pellets aren't going to get any lighter. By the way "THIS OLD HOUSE" might be interested in the beeswax lip balm tip!! That made me laugh!