Two Trees

I have been walking the dirt road that leads past my cabin for years now. At the top of the hill are two trees, an aspen and a tamarack, that live side by side in an inspiring relationship. I can’t help but wonder how long they have been together – 30 years? 40 years? Maybe 50. They grow in concert as if to say, “Look at us, see how it is done.” The aspen is so beautiful with its yellow leaves rattling from outstretched iridescent branches. The tamarack is stark in its comparison. The rough bark is black and needles short and pointed. He is tall and majestic. They appear more striking in combination than if they grew separately.


The couple has given up the inside branches between them to allow each other space to grow, reaching instead into the expansiveness that surrounds them. The two trees complement each other, the light against the dark, the smooth, golden leaf adjacent to the soft, green needle. Simultaneously, they reach towards the sky, ever supporting each other, ever accepting. They have chosen to be here, as a pair, for eternity, growing in communion with all of nature.

It makes my heart sing to see two such different trees live in unison and harmony for so long. Is it possible to make a life with another person whose personality is so foreign to your own? Can two people accept each other’s differences and instead of finding fault with those distinctive characteristics, revel in their uniqueness? It is like a football team with players possessing different skills. How successful would they be if they were all quarterbacks? Why do we want our mate to be just like us? To think like us? Behave like us? Have opinions like ours? Why is it so difficult to allow each other those spaces to grow and evolve individually? Would the aspen make the tamarack wrong for having needles? Is the tamarack superior due to his size?

We must allow our partner to reach out into his own world, to bring back experiences that nourish him. It does not mean leaving, it means continuing to grow and reach into our own world to bring back something meaningful that feeds the relationship. These trees remind me of my favorite passage from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet. I read this passage on Marriage at my brother’s wedding. This is how I imagine a perfect union.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.