Colors

St. Mary's on the way home last night



I returned last night from a True Colors training http://www.true-colors.com


My co-worker and I are now certified facilitators for this program. I knew a little about this material but now I am a flag waving enthusiast. This is the type of workshop that everyone in a relationship and everyone that really wants to be an effective leader should attend. If you have read The Five Love Languages, Mars/Venus, Birth Order or any of the many books out there on how to communicate more effectively with others, you would love this. If you haven’t read any of those books and you just don’t care about how to communicate - because you are always right - then you really need to look at this material.

I love the way the universe provides the perfect information at the ideal time. My desire is to help others and myself to maintain peaceful, fulfilling relationships. These interactions can be with our lover, our family or in our workplace. The colors information has allowed me to find a quick, easy to use method for helping others. This work is based on scientific research beginning with Hippocrates in 400 B.C, all the way through Jung, Kiersy, Myers-Briggs and Lowry.

There are four major personality types. In this program, they are simplified into colors. It is so easy to use, that it works for students and teachers, athletic teams and coaches, spouses and children. We learned what each color needs to feel “brightened” and what things cause stress. It’s amazing how each personality has such unique needs. We know these things; we see them every day but here it was in black and white.

We all have all four colors. Some of the colors dominate and when we are stressed we fall back into this dominant color. During the training, we were able to observe the “out of esteem” behavior. That was eye opening to me. What I need to feel better when I am stressed is totally different than my ex-partner. One person needs space to process and the other needs closeness and comforting. What causes stress for one person can be healing for the other. If we understand the differences before a situation arises, then we can be there for the other person in the way that they need and not the way that comes natural to us. If we keep doing what we think is best, and of course it is the opposite of what they need, it eventually leads to separation and the ending of relationship that had huge potential.

I learned so much about myself. Of course, I have two equally dominant colors. I laugh because I never do one thing at a time. My tendency to be nurturing, caring and compassionate is equal to my risk taking, adventurous, out of the box, spontaneous self. I want to be close with someone but if I feel locked in or trapped, I rebel. I am loyal to a fault in relationship but my adventurous side needs to have fun, explore and find excitement together. That was pretty neat. I feel my unconventional side has been stuffed a long time. In my upbringing, in my previous life in NY, in my job – the rebel has not been appreciated, so I learned to bury it. It is my creative self, the self that is filled with bold ideas, innovative solutions and new ways of solving challenges. It’s time I allow that part of me more freedom.

I see that in my last partnership, the attraction was from sharing our two secondary colors; the fun loving, spontaneous, adventurous side. This was powerful. Then we both went through extremely stressful situations in our individual lives. We each fell into our primary color as a way to cope. These primary colors were not understood and needed opposing actions to find peace and harmony. One color blocked communication in order to process. One color needed communication to feel connected. If only we had known.

A huge chasm was created unnecessarily. An unfortunate ending took place.

I’ve been allowed to see this for what it is. I am a communicator. I always will be. It is important for me to express these thoughts. I hope it helps someone else on this path.

As an addendum, there was a woman at the training that had opposing values and stressors to mine. What really intrigued me was that I drove her crazy. She was so rigid in her thoughts and beliefs that she saw me as anarchy and irreverence. Any words out of my mouth intimidated her and caused her to cringe. No matter how the facilitator tried to question and encourage her to look at her own issues, she was unable. She was totally convinced that everyone should change to suit her needs. It was really comical. Here we were learning how to help people see each other’s individuality, to value all the colors and she could not break down her walls.


You have to want to see other people for who they are in order to have this information make a difference. You have to want to communicate. You have to see the value in learning how to lead, to inspire, to heal and to motivate others. You have to want to. Anyone that clings to their color and finds it superior, uses their color to defend their actions or refuses to acknowledge the qualities of other people is never going to be all that they can be.